Pagan Poet?

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were browsing through Books-A-Million when I ran across a book of poems by Emily Dickinson. Frankly, I have never really liked poetry, I much prefer prose, but ever since I was first introduced to Dickinson in high school, I have found her poetry fascinating. Dickinson once said that she knew she was reading poetry when it took her head off. My experience has been precisely that when I read hers.

As I perused through the book, I noticed a lot of her familiar references to scripture, death, heaven, etc. In fact, Sarah Klein writes an interesting article entitled Adjusting the Symbols in which she discusses Dickinson's use of the sacraments in her poetry. Nonetheless, I asked myself, was Dickinson a believer? It seems that many have asked the same question and while several atheists claim her as their own, others suggest she may have been a Christian. See Emily Dickinson and the Art of Belief by Roger Lundin.

The following is a quote from a letter Dickinson wrote to a friend in 1846 which evidences her internal struggle:

". . . I was almost persuaded to be a Christian I thought I never again could be thoughtless and worldly - and I can say that I never enjoyed such perfect peace and happiness as the short time in which I felt I had found my savior. But I soon forgot my morning prayer or else it was irksome to me. One by one my old habits returned and I cared less for religion than ever. . .I feel that I shall never be happy without I love Christ. . .When I am most happy there is a sting in every enjoyment. I find no rose without a thorn. There is an aching void in my heart which I am convinced the world never can fill. I am far from being thoughtless upon the subject of religion. I continually hear Christ saying to me Daughter give me thine heart. Probably you have made your decision long before this time. Perhaps you have exchanged the fleeting pleasures of time for a crown of immortality. Perhaps the shining company above have tuned their golden harps to the song of one more redeemed sinner. I hope at sometime the heavenly gates will be opened to receive me and The angels will consent to call me sister. I am continually putting off becoming a Christian. Evil voices lisp in my ear - There is yet time enough. I feel that every day I live I sin more and more in closing my heart to the offers of mercy which are presented to me freely - Last winter there was a revival here. The meetings were thronged by people old and young. It seemed as if those who sneered loudest at serious things were soonest brought to see their power, and to make Christ their portion. It was really wonderful to see how near heaven came to sinful mortals. Many who felt there was nothing in religion determined to go once & see if there was anything in it, and they were melted at once. Perhaps you will not believe it Dear A. but I attended none of the meetings last winter. I felt that I was so easily excited that I might again be deceived and I dared not trust myself. Many conversed with me seriously and affectionately and I was almost inclined to yield to the claims of He who is greater than I. How ungrateful I am to live along day by day upon Christs bounty and still be in a state of emnity to him & his cause. . .I hope we shall all be acquitted at the bar of God, and shall receive the welcome, Well done Good & faithful Servants., Enter Ye into the Joy of your Lord. I wonder if we shall know each other in heaven, and whether we shall be a chosen band as we are here. I am inclined to believe that we shall - and that our love will be purer in heaven than on earth. I feel that life is short and time fleeting - and that I ought now to make my peace with my maker - I hope the golden opportunity is not far hence when my heart will willingly yield itself to Christ, and that my sins will be all blotted out of the book of remembrance. Perhaps before the close of the year now swiftly upon the wing, some one of our number will be summoned to the Judgment Seat above, and I hope we may not be separated when the final decision is made, for how sad would it be for one of our number to go to the dark realms of woe, where is the never dying worm and the fire which no water can quench, and how happy if we may be one unbroken company in heaven. . . Although I am not a Christian still I feel deeply the importance of attending to the subject before it is too late."

Apparently, Dickinson was raised in a Congregationalist church with a Calvinist theology. However, her church and community were influenced by the Second Great Awakening and revivalism. From what I can gather from my brief research, she was baptized as an infant but never took communion because of her church's requirement that she testify to a visitation of the Holy Spirit. See Emily Dickinson: Pagan Sphinx by Gary Solan.

One could certainly write a dissertation about Dickinson's struggle with her faith, and I am sure there are those that have. Ultimately, I end up with more questions than answers. What influence did revivalism have on Dickinson? Did she ever hear the Gospel? Was Dickinson held back from embracing the cross because of some pentecostal or charismatic notions of Christianity that she could not subscribe to, or did she simply reject the living God out of a purely rebellious heart?

This side of heaven we will not know whether Dickinson finally trusted in Christ. Just as Dickinson's friends and family certainly worried about her, I know it is difficult to watch those that seem so close to belief, but do not ever seem to quite get there. I hope that Dickinson is one that I will dine with at the Lamb's supper table. In the interim, it reminds me to be more patient with those who struggle with faith, to welcome their sometimes difficult questions, and not to give purely simplistic responses.